We have your typical, awkward nerdy kid named Jeremy Melton, who asks numerous girls to dance and all but one say no to him. The lonely girl on the bleachers says yes to Jeremy and they secretly hide to make out. When others see what they are doing, the girl tries to save face by accusing Jeremy of attacking her so the other kids lash out at him, beating him and humiliating him. This should now teach you not to mess with the nerdy awkward kid, because he can either grow up extremely handsome, or he can send you a Valentine with a threatening message that he's going to kill you. Lessons to be learned here either way.
So we begin with the character Shelley, who is played by Katherine Heigl who is on the WORST date ever. I feel for her on this date, let me tell you because Jason refers to himself in a third person like he is narrating his own life, it's quite annoying. So Shelley gets out of kissing broccoli in the teeth guy and has to study for her medical exam. I am giving it away so soon but this death scene is just orchestrated in such a satisfying way that I have to mention it. She receives a Valentine that was not so romantic or sweet and she shrugs it off at first. But then she hears noises and realizes that the cadaver that she is working on, is not an actual cadaver but a killer who is after her. There's a superb chase scene and she has nowhere to go so she hides in an empty body bag. The suspense of the killer, stabbing every body bag until they approach the one that does indeed, have Shelley inside of it, he kills her, draining her blood. My favorite death in this film.
Then we have the main girl, which I am wondering if she is considered a final girl, knowing that she wasn't really stalked by the killer as much as the others, but there is a reason. We have Kate who is played by Marley Shelton, who's going through a rocky relationship with her alcoholic boyfriend, Adam. It's off and on but she knows where her heart lies, which is with Adam, even though it hurts her. Her friend, Paige, who is played by Denise Richards insists Kate go to a speed dating event with her so she can get over Adam. It doesn't go well for her but it does for Paige. Kate is modest, soft spoken and a bit naive at times but she wants to see the best in everyone.
Paige plays that typical seductress who always seems to go after the creepiest men because they view her in the way she desires to be seen. She seems to view herself as an object but she has enough respect to reject the sleazy cop who investigates Shelley's murder. I enjoy the scene where she's at the party and she meets up with Brian who she met from the speed dating. He thinks that she is easy and that he can just take her upstairs but she has other plans for him. Hot wax anyone? Her death is also pretty brutal, being trapped in a Jacuzzi, nowhere to go and he drills into the glass cover. She uses the drill holes to breathe and when distracted, he throws the drill in, have to give this movie props for clever kills.
Kate has two other friends, one with no self confidence, resorting to being with someone who is clearly using her and then the other who wants a man whore who claims to be an artist who is just a pornographer that gets around. Lily who is played by Jessica Cauffiel, she receives quite the valentine that leaves her chugging a whole carton of orange juice to make the taste dissipate. She lives with Paige and they both are part of video dating? Didn't even know that was a thing? Before Tinder, we had this? Lily's death is sort of lackluster, getting shot a couple times by an arrow then plummeting into a dumpster. In comes Dorothy, the lonely girl from the bleachers years back that accused Jeremy Melton of attacking her. Played by Jessica Capshaw, Dorothy is your typical insecure rich girl who thinks buying love is the only way to get someone's attention.
Dorothy's character is more complex, wondering what Dorothy's actual involvement was with the killings. That's what I like about this movie, is that it doesn't necessarily explain everything, it leaves a lot to the imagination. Dorothy was unmasked but we also know that Adam played by David Boreanaz, has a nose bleed at the very end, having us question....Did Adam put Dorothy in the costume to make Kate believe it was her just so Jeremy could have Kate ALL to himself?
Jeremy Melton lived out Randy Meek's dream.....The Geek did in fact get the girl...
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